Saving The World
It’s May 23, 2020, and Virginia has been in social distancing mode since March 14. Some of the country is starting to poke their heads out again, but our state has another 3 weeks or so. What a weird year.
I’m late in even trying to relay what it’s like. Between working full-time, feeding 6 humans all day and trying to foster some sort of homeschooling environment - forget it. Me time all but evaporated with our social lives.
March 13 was the last day the kids saw their teachers, I met with clients and restaurants were open IRL, “In Real Life,” as they say.
It’s been Zoom calls, delivered groceries, virtual work and thankfully lots of playing outside time for the kids.
Emma just had her final Preschool Zoom call yesterday. Such a bittersweet moment with my youngest of 4 kids leaving preschool.
I realized I’ve had kids in preschool since 2006 when Lola started. Blink 14 years later. And when Emma wrapped her call, she proudly ran to her “Big Me,” who’s about to be a rising 10th grader, and said, “Lola, I’m a kindergartener now!”
Life transitions with ceremony and without.
COVID-19 has left millions of kids without their traditional transition ceremony. I have two nephews who will graduate virtually from high school this year. So odd. Even just the final day of school parties and events letting you know you’ve completed a year of schooling. Or the big business presentation where you summarize what you have been doing for weeks or months on end.
Much less a weekend. It becomes hard to tell Tuesday from Sunday when we are confined to the home that keeps us safe.
Why as humans do tradition and ceremony create such meaning? Why do we crave that meaning to feel alive?
I’ve written about life meaning before and how it’s the one thing that can keep people from falling down the hole of never-ending despair and disillusion.
The journey to seeking purpose is strong.
We can find meaning in so many places, but the place I believe it all starts is in ourselves and our family support structure. Today that physically means in the construct of our homes.
Which comes back to this odd time where our homes are this messy chaos of beauty and refuge, repetition and simplicity. Some boredom and busywork, deadlines and dread. Some laughter and tears, jokes and quiet introspection.
All of which leads me to - How do we find personal meaning and purpose without broader connection to the world around us?
A quarantined home of 6 humans looks and sounds much different than my widower mother-in-law who lives alone with no pets. She finds purpose thought nonprofit volunteering and community involvement, even if virtual now.
I find purpose in “work-parenting.”
This is the term I’ve coined for what I do every day as a full-time mother who also manages a career.
The “work-parenting” balance shifts and sways with each season of my life, but right now I work hard to keep 4 kids, myself and husband alive each day (meals, laundry, safe and clean home, etc.) with the ultimate goal of creating a structured enough environment to feel loved and supported, while enough time and freedom to explore their internal feelings, external surroundings and gauge their personal interests. The ultimate parenting goal is to give each day an opportunity to have them thrive.
WHILE actively managing a personal career that’s multi-pronged across several small businesses I’m a founder and partner in, plus consulting for another new company - which means during Covid-19 I’m currently requiring anywhere from 3-7 hours of Zoom video calls a day.
It’s a lot of pressure and can create anxiety.
But it can also create treasured moments I try and be realtime mindful to not miss.
I’m not sure what the summer will bring, but I sense more of the same plus new twists and turns.
I’d like to say I have energy to “Save the world,” but right now…
But I think all I can do is commit to the purpose of loving my family though every action I take while work-parenting. I sure hope that’s enough.
And I wish you success in work-parenting today, too.
Lotsa love,
Leah
